


Her Soldier

by LittleRedWriter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action & Romance, Anxiety Attacks, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Death, Depression, F/M, Romance, Soulmates, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28744923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRedWriter/pseuds/LittleRedWriter
Summary: Dr. Christine Lane thought she only had two choices in life: her career or marriage. And for her, the decision was easy. She only focused on one thing, succeeding in her career and her latest project - Project Rebirth.She gave up hope that she could find someone that would support her career years ago... but then again, she never met Bucky Barnes - until now.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

At only twenty four years old, Christine Lane was one of the military's leading scientists. 

She had defied all odds to get to this point, had dedicated her entire life to her education and career. When somebody told her no, it only fueled her fire. When she was told she couldn’t do something, she would purposely prove them wrong. 

She grew up being told that her purpose in life was to marry a man, serve him, and bear his children. According to her parents, she was destined to be a housewife. That’s all she would ever amount to. Being a mother was the only job a woman could succeed in. Or, if she truly wanted a job, she could find a successful man to be a secretary for.

But, Christine wasn’t one to follow the rules or settle. She had different plans for herself and she refused to fall victim to society’s social norms. She was too stubborn to give up her own dreams and wait on a man. 

It was her goal to make a difference in the world, to help others. People told her she was too ambitious, that she would never leave a lasting impact so she might as well have kids. _Maybe she’d have a son that left a legacy. Wouldn’t you be so proud of him?_

Christine was determined to make a difference, to do whatever she could to better the world she lived in. She just wanted to help people. 

Graduating top of her class a year early at age seventeen, she was admitted to Columbia University to study modern genetics.

Every time Christine was told to get her nose out of a book and that college was her chance to find herself a future doctor or engineer, she added an hour to her study time for that day. And she heard that _often._ But all of that extra study time helped her to complete her doctorate in record breaking time. In her six years at the university, she had made a name for herself in the field of science through internships, groundbreaking discoveries, and her published papers.

Before she even walked across the stage to accept her diploma, she had multiple organizations approach her, wanting her to work for them. But only one caught her attention.

Abraham Erskine approached her for a top secret project that he was working on that he needed an assistant for. Despite other offers offering her a lead scientist position, it was the sparkle in Dr. Erskine’s eye as he vaguely gave her details of the project. He couldn’t tell her much, just that what they were working on would end the war without the use of bombs, which caused so many unnecessary civilian deaths. And after so many innocent lives lost, Christine wanted nothing more than to be able to end this war without killing more innocents. 

Serving the military was another one of Christine’s dreams that she thought was out of reach because of her gender. Generations of Lane men had served in the military, it was a right of passage in the family and a great honor. Christine, however, was an only child and the last generation with the Lane name. 

When Dr. Erskine proposed for Christine to join his project, she only had one requirement: she would be allowed to enlist as a soldier. 

Dr. Erskine only smiled at her, inspired by Christine’s unwavering determination. He promised her that he would see what he could do and went back to base, ready to jump through a few hoops to do whatever he needed to allow Christine to enlist. 

Colonel Phillips put Christine through every physical assessment that he could think of, hoping that he would be able to fail Christine - but she passed every one. 

And so, after both Dr. Erskine and Christine jumped through several metaphorical - and a couple physical ones for Christine - Christine was not only a scientist for the military, but also a soldier.

Together, the two scientists worked to develop Project Rebirth; an experiment that could genetically enhance an individual soldier to create a Super Soldier. When Dr. Erskine first told Christine about the project, she was shocked. When he had told her that they would be able to end the war without the use of bombs, she didn’t know what to expect - but it wasn’t _this._

Christine had her doubts at first. Would this actually work? Did she make a mistake when accepting this job offer? What if it failed, what would that say for her career and reputation?

But at the same time, what if it worked? It was easy to think about the success it would cause in her career. But what about what it would do for the world? 

Christine’s doubts went away as quickly as they came, knowing that if it worked, it’d be worth it. And so, Christine packed up her life and moved onto a military base.

In the mornings, Christine would work alongside Erskine to develop the serum and then spent her afternoon training alongside her fellow soldiers.

Granted, _no one_ wanted to train with a woman. They thought it was a joke, couldn’t believe that they actually let a female onto the base as a _soldier._ Unless they were trying to convince her to join them in bed, _no one_ talked to Christine. 

No one, however, until Steve Rogers arrived at the base.

The small blond knew what it was like to be the outcast; the one that everyone picked on and no one wanted to be around. And he never wanted anyone to have to experience that.

Only three days after he arrived and after talking himself up for ten minutes before entering the mess hall, he secured his lunch tray and sat down at Christine’s usual table where he had noticed she sat alone every day. Christine just smiled at the blushing blond, grateful for his company but even more grateful that he wasn’t trying to hit on her.

She chuckled to herself after fifteen minutes went by and he didn’t dare say a word. He wouldn’t even look at her. Hell, he hadn’t even moved a muscle since he sat down. It was like he was frozen in fear. Instead, his eyes were fixed on his lunch tray as his cheeks burned red. He was incredibly shy, she realized. And not wanting to make him uncomfortable, she sat there in silence with him. 

An entire week passed by before Steve finally managed to say anything to her. Christine didn’t mind how long it took him to finally speak to her. Even in silence, she enjoyed his company. 

“I, uh, I’m Steve,” he finally managed to say on the eighth day of them sitting together. His voice interrupting their silence actually startled her and when she glanced up from her book at him, his eyes darted back to his tray for a moment.

“Nice to finally meet you, Steve,” she grinned at him and he blushed a deep shade of red as he looked back up at her. Her smile was bright and he felt lucky to witness it. She lit up the entire cafeteria. “I’m Christine.” 

“How long, um, how long have you been on base?” Steve asked her, clearing his throat as he did so. He had eight days to think of what to say to her and he forgot everything he had planned. 

“A year,” she told him and his eyes widened. 

“A _year_? Don’t they usually send soldiers overseas by now? My pal Bucky was only at training for a few months before they gave him his orders and shipped him out,” Steve felt like he was rambling now that he was finally speaking.

“Nobody wants a female in their unit,” Christine gave him a sad shrug. “Plus, I’m one of three scientists on this base working on a project. My top priority is this project, it’s the entire reason I’m even here.”

“Out of all the soldiers here, you’d be my first pick for my unit,” Steve smiled at her and she couldn’t help but to smile at the statement. “May I ask what the project is about?” Steve asked her, thinking about Bucky. If Bucky knew that Steve met an actual scientist and didn’t ask her any questions, Bucky would smack him upside the head.

“Unfortunately it’s confidential, but I have a feeling you might know about it soon,” she gave him a knowing smirk, her eyes sparkled with a secrete and his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. 

“So tell me, Steve, where are you from?” she changed the subject quickly so that he couldn’t ask anymore questions.

“Brooklyn,” he was proud of the fact. “You?”

“Manhattan,” she told him and his eyes went a little wide at the fact. He was shocked that they had grown up not far from each other. “It’s a shame we’ve never ran into each other, I used to frequent Brooklyn often.” 

“Ah, you would have never noticed me,” he mumbled, eyes dropping to his tray. No one ever noticed the little guy.

“I beg to differ,” she smiled. “You have a kindness in your eyes that I’d like to get to know.” Steve blushed hard at the comment, never having a girl talk to him willingly... let alone say something _nice_ to him. _Especially_ a beautiful dame like Christine. 

The two soldiers got to know each other fast after that day. They became quick friends as they spent most of their time on base together. The two of them would have each meal together, run cadence side by side, and when they had some free time in the evening, Christine would grab a book and Steve would grab a sketchbook and the two of them would find a tree to perch themselves under.

After a few days it became easier for Steve to talk to Christine and Christine was grateful for Steve. As much as she loved science and her discussions with Abraham and Howard, she enjoyed being able to have a normal conversation with someone that didn’t require theories and equations. Sometimes, she just craved simple conversation that didn’t require her to think too hard.

“Morning, Chris,” Steve gave her a small smile as he met her outside her quarters. Her quarters were much smaller than the men’s because there were only two females on the entire base and they shared quarters. 

Peggy Carter, an agent of the Strategic Scientific Reserve, and Christine were actually good friends. However, the two’s schedules were quite different due to Christine’s hours in the lab and then while Christine was going through training, Peggy was usually the trainer. But at night before they went to bed, the girls would take a moment to catch up on the day’s event.

“Ma’am,” Steve squeaked when Peggy stepped out of the quarters behind Christine. Christine couldn’t help but smirk to herself. Her and Peggy didn’t usually leave at the same time, but everytime they did Steve would get flustered and stutter all over himself. Actually, it happened every time Peggy was around.

“Rogers,” Peggy’s greeting was short. “I will see you in a bit, Chris.” 

“See ya, Peg,” Christine smiled as the Brit walked away. Christine glanced over at Steve, who was still noticeably flustered. “Come on, breakfast is calling,” she laughed as she began to lead Steve towards the mess hall. 

“How many hours are you spending in the lab this mornin’?” Steve asked her as they ate the sludge the Army called oatmeal.

“Not many, we’re just about done. Abraham and I only have a few things to go over,” she remained vague. Steve might have quickly become her best friend on base, but confidential was confidential. 

“You ever meet a soldier named James Barnes in your year here? Goes by Bucky?” Steve asked her.

“I don’t think so,” she tried to recall some of the soldiers she’s met over her year on base. A chill ran up her spine as she thought back on them all, crude and wanting nothing more than to take her back to their quarters. Christine had a photographic memory, she couldn’t recall ever meeting a Barnes. 

“I bet he didn’t even know there were scientists on this base,” Steve shook his head. “If he did, he would have been sittin’ outside your lab waiting to ask you questions on your way to your quarters each day. He loves science, was always dragging me on dates to the science expos when they came through town,” he couldn’t help but smile at the memories. No matter how miserable he was because Steve _hated_ double dates, he always enjoyed watching his pal’s eyes light up when he saw a new piece of tech. Gosh, Steve missed Bucky. 

“I can’t say I’ve met too many people outside of the field that had an interest in science,” Christine told him. “Maybe one day, when the war’s over and we all return to New York, I’ll get to meet him.”

“I just… I hope he’s okay,” Steve’s voice was quieter than usual. Steve shared stories about his and Bucky’s antics with Christine often, but he usually didn’t allow himself to be vulnerable around her. 

“I wish I could tell you if he was or not,” Christine gave him a sad smile. 

“I just need to get over there…” Steve’s eyes hardened, determined to get over there and fight the good fight. “He spent so many years, my whole life, really, watching my back. And now he doesn’t have anyone watching his.” 

“Soon,” Christine promised him, reaching over and squeezing his hand. “You’ll be there soon.” 

“I’m actually quite surprised you didn’t meet him during his time here,” Steve continued. “He, uh, he wouldn’t have passed up the chance to talk to you.”

“Because I’m a scientist?” Christine asked him and Steve laughed, shaking his head.

“No, no,” Steve chuckled. “Bucky would normally never pass up a chance to talk to such a beautiful dame.”

“Oh,” Christine blushed, unsure of how to respond. “Perhaps he was here during a time I was clocking in extra hours at the lab and our paths never crossed.” 

After finishing up her breakfast, Christine slipped into the lab to check on Dr. Erskine. 

"Good morning, Dr. Erskine," Christine said as she entered the lab. Her mentor was already buried deep within his work.

“Good morning, Dr. Lane,” he muttered, not looking up from his work. She wondered if he was there all night or if he got there early that morning. 

Setting a fresh mug of coffee down next to him, he finally looked up at Christine and gave her a grateful smile. When his eyes met her, she could tell that he hadn’t made it to bed yet. 

Settling in at the station next to them, the two worked together. Abraham would start a thought and Christine would be the one to finish it. The two of them muttered over top of each other and yet they still picked up every word from the other. They worked in tandem, knowing exactly what the other was thinking at all times. It had always been like this, since the very first day that Christine joined Abraham in the lab. It’s like the two were destined to work on this project together. 

After a couple hours of muttering and frustrated sighs, balls of notes thrown across the lab as theories were thrown out, and chalkboards covered in their scribbles, the two were finally satisfied with the work they had accomplished that day and Abraham began to run out of steam.

“Have you approached Chester about the potential subject, yet?” Christine asked as she began to organize her things. 

“I believe Colonel Phillips needs a bit more convincing,” Abraham told her. “Now, I believe you’re supposed to be at training?”

“Shit!” she exclaimed, glancing at the clock on the wall before tossing off her lab coat and running out of the lab. Christine was already in uniform and quickly fell in line with the other soldiers. Steve stood a few people down and she greeted him with a small smile. 

Christine watched as Agent Carter began to walk down the line, inspecting each of them as she went. Chris watched out of the corner of her eye as Agent Carter gave him a once over, looking him up and down.

Christine could practically feel Steve’s energy shift. He’s told her before about how everyone always looked down on him, how they’d assume he was weak, inferior. Steve was always judged based on his size and never by his character. And if people would just take a second to look past his size and at him, they’d realize what a great guy he was. 

But what Steve didn’t realize, and Christine did, Peggy wasn’t judging Steve in that moment. Christine knew that Peggy admired Steve as much as he admired her. They were both two soldiers that were never expected to make it to war; Peggy due to being a woman and Steve from his illnesses and size. And yet they were both here, both determined to fight the good fight. 

“Fall in line,” Peggy directed everyone, pulling Christine from her thoughts. 

The soldiers got in lines of two and began to run in sync. Christine was small and agile, she had no issue with holding her own and could have easily out ran her fellow soldiers. But instead of leading the group like she could have, she remained in the back, right by Steve’s side. Steve ran with his head down, his shoulders hunched over more than usual. It was obvious to Christine that he was upset.

“You okay, Steve?” she whispered and he replied with a sad nod. She didn’t press, she knew that he wouldn’t talk to her around the other soldiers. But later when no one else was around, he would open up to her. 

Christine caught herself pulling ahead, leaving Steve behind. She slowed down, not wanting him to be left running alone. 

“You can go ahead, I know you can run faster than this,” he managed to say between breaths.

“I’m not going to leave a soldier behind,” she smiled at him.

“Th-thanks,” he said, his cheeks were pink as he smiled at her. Despite how close they had become, Steve would still blush and become shy around Christine when she was nice to him… and it killed her. Steve Rogers deserved to be treated with more kindness than he had been. She hated that he was more used to being picked on than having someone be nice to him. 

Steve struggled to breathe as they ended their run and fell in line to continue their training. Christine breathed easily as she did her pushups and Steve would never get over how she was so strong for being so small. Her pushups were effortless, even more so than the men that surrounded her. 

Christine was an amazing soldier. It was a shame that the army didn’t care about that, though. All they saw was a woman. 

Steve hated jumping jacks, he decided as he did them. He hated all physical activity, really. He hated how it just reminded him how weak he was and how his asthma held him back.

“Grenade!” someone yelled, pulling him from his thoughts. Both Christine and Steve dove towards the grenade, but Steve reached it first, covering it with his body. Christine rolled on the ground, avoiding landing on Steve. 

“Get back! Everyone get back!” Steve yelled, curling himself around it.

“It’s a false grenade,” someone scoffed and Christine’s cheeks flushed pink. 

“Christine, come here,” Colonel Phillips said and she peeled herself off the ground, dusting herself as she walked over to him, cheeks still burning from embarrassment. 

“Good work,” he patted her on the shoulder, causing her to smile. “Go ahead and head to dinner and get cleaned up, our meeting is in two hours.” She nodded and helped Steve off the ground. 

“That was really brave of you,” she told him. 

“And you, ma’am,” Steve smiled shyly at her.

“Steve, how many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to call me ma’am?” she laughed.

“I’m sorry, Christine,” he looked down at his feet.

“If you’re ever feeling brave, you can call me Chris,” she chuckled as they reached the cafeteria together and he opened the door for her like the gentleman he was. She thanked him and they went through the line, their trays piled with various foods before sitting at a small table in the back of the cafeteria.

“I always find it hard to believe that you don’t have any friends you’d rather sit with…” he said while looking down at his potatoes. 

“You’re my friend, Steve,” she assured him, wishing he wasn’t so full of self-doubt.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean that we weren’t--”

“I know,” she nodded, cutting him off. “But you know that the other guys here only want one thing from me…” she looked down at her own tray as her voice drifted off. Her cheeks blushed pink, embarrassed that that was her reality.

“It’s so disrespectful,” Steve growled. “If they would actually try to talk to you, they’d realize how great you were --”

“It’s really okay,” she cut him off. “I try to ignore it. Or break a nose.”

“You deserve better than that,” Steve shook his head, angered by his fellow soldiers. 

“And so do you,” Christine gave him a sad smile.

“No one wants to associate themselves with the little guy,” he scoffed. “Ya know, you might even be taller than me.”

“We’re the same height, Stevie,” she chuckled and he smiled softly at her, missing hearing the nickname his mom used to call him. “But those guys? They don’t matter. I’m here because I earned my spot here and I’m needed, even more than them. And trust me when I say the same goes for you, Steve.” 

He had no idea how important his role here was, Christine thought to herself.

Steve only nodded, going back to picking at his food. He couldn’t help but to admire Christine and her confidence. She was always sure of herself and determined to stick up for herself and others… it made him think of Bucky and only miss him more. 


	2. Chapter 2

_**Trigger Warning: Attempted Sexual Assault/Rape** _

Christine finished zipping up her pencil skirt and slipped on her heels before stopping to look at her reflection. Her golden, amber eyes popped against her black eyeliner, her pale skin porcelain white against her black bob and red lipstick.

With a glance at the clock, she decided to head to the lab a little early. Her anxiety was high and there was no way that she’d be able to sit around in her room waiting. Abraham was going to announce to Chester and Howard who they were choosing as the subject for Project Rebirth and she knew how the two of them were going to react. 

It was a controversial choice, but it was the _right_ choice. There was no one else that compared to Steve Rogers. There was no one else more perfect for this experiment than Steve. Christine and Abraham both knew it. He was so much more than a good soldier; he was a great man. 

Christine stepped out of her building, smoothing her skirt before turning in the direction of the lab.

“Hey, pretty lady,” a soldier blocked her path. Christine stared up at him, recognizing him from the daily line up, but not knowing his name. He was an entire foot taller than her, his arms as big as her thighs. She swallowed hard, knowing how this was going to go. From the looks of it, she wasn’t going to be able to escape this one easily.

“Excuse me,” she faked a smile as she tried to walk around him. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, grabbing her arm and pulling her back in front of him. His grip was tight on her arm and she fought back a whimper.

“I have a meeting to attend,” she tried to get away but he squeezed her arm, hard. A pathetic sound escaped her and she mentally cursed at herself. She hated showing weakness in front of these brutes. 

“I have something I could really use your help with,” he smirked at her, his eyes dark as he looked her up and down. Christine’s nose scrunched up, absolutely disgusted. She tried to rip her arm out of his grip but his grip only tightened.

“No thank you,” she hissed and she swung at him with her other arm, punching him square in the nose. Christine could hear the crack upon impact and feel the bone crack beneath her fist. He stumbled, still holding onto her. Furious, he grabbed her other arm and twisted her, pinning her back against him.

“You’re going to regret that bitch, I don’t take no for an answer,” he growled. Her stomach churned, realizing that she was trapped in his grip. 

“Let me go,” she yelled at him, trying desperately to plant her feet to the ground as he tried to move her towards a nearby building. His size allowed him to pick her up easily, moving her against her will as she tried to wrestle herself free from his grasp. 

She swallowed hard, they were getting closer to the building he had his eyes set on. Once inside, she didn’t stand a chance. No one would hear her there or no where to look. Christine kicked, trying desperately to make contact with him in some way or form. Panic was taking over and she was unable to think clearly, unable to figure out how to get out of his grip.

“Come on, baby, we’re going back to my room,” he continued drag her and she cursed the heels she was wearing. She cursed being a foot shorter than him, letting him get a hold of both of her arms, unable to gain the upper hand. 

In a last stitch effort, she flung her head back. The back of her head slammed into his already broken nose. Her adrenaline was pumping so hard she hardly realized how much it hurt her own head.

“You bitch!” he exclaimed and she was able to get free from his grasp and started to run, only to be grabbed by the back of her shirt and yanked towards him again.

“No!” she screamed, terrified of what he was going to do to her now. 

“The lady said no,” a familiar, firm voice said. Christine felt tears sting that back of her eyes. Relieved that someone had found her in time. 

“Steve!” she didn’t even realize his name escaped her, she was just so glad that he found her

“Stay out of this, pipsqueak,” the soldier growled, tightening his grip on Christine. 

“She said let her go,” Steve stepped closer, his voice stern. 

“What are you going to do about it?” the soldier challenged him, tossing Christine to the ground. A yelp escaped her as she fell to the ground, landing on her wrist. Steve rushed over to her, asking her if she was okay. In any other situation, Steve would be lunging at the man with his fists up, but that’s not what Christine needed right now. 

She had no words as she sat there in shock of what happened -- none of the guys ever got physical with her. None of the guys ever tried to --

Christine’s breathing quickened, unable to remember how to breathe as she realized what had just happened to her. Her head throbbed, her fist ached, her arm was sore from where he had grabbed her, a shooting pain was going through her wrist.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she began to hyperventilate. There was commotion around her, but she had no idea what was going on. She couldn’t focus. She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs burned as she gasped desperately for air. All feeling in her hands left, her face felt numb and tingled as her mind raced. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve took Christine’s face in her hands, holding it gently. “It’s alright, you’re alright. Look at me, okay?” Steve encouraged her and she finally met Steve’s eyes. “Breathe with me,” Steve took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly.

“You’re okay now, Chris, you’re okay. “I’ve got you now. It’s just me and you. Come on, breathe with me.” It took a few breaths, but after a moment she began to breathe with him. After a few minutes, her breaths began to become more stable, her lungs quit burning. 

Steve knew what it was like to have anxiety. He knew how terrible it was to have an anxiety attack, too. It was a horrible feeling to feel like you were losing control of everything around you and then on top of that, you lose control of your breathing. 

Bucky was always the one to help him through his anxiety attacks. Just like this, actually. Bucky would grab Steve’s face and force him to breathe along with him. Not only did it distract him from his rushing thoughts, but it prevented him from going into an asthma attack on top of the panic attack.

“That’s it, just like that, Chris,” Steve continued to breathe with her. “You’re doing great,” his thumb gently brushed away the tears that wouldn’t stop. 

Steve glanced behind Christine, finding Colonel Phillips and Peggy yelling at the soldier that did this to her. Steve heard something about disciplinary action, something about being transferred. He didn’t know, didn’t care. As long as Christine was okay and that asshole paid for what he did to her.

“Christine!” a voice yelled and Howard came running over to both Steve and Christine. But Steve put up one of his hands, stopping him from interrupting them. Howard stopped in his tracks, watching the two of them. 

“That’s it, Christine, just keep breathing,” Steve kept encouraging her. “Perfect,” he smiled gently at her. 

When she was breathing steadily again, Christine lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Steve’s neck, holding onto him tight. 

“Thank god you found me,” she whispered, burying her face into his neck. “If you hadn’t… I don’t know what...” she cried into his shoulder.

“No one will ever touch you again,” his voice was stern. His blood was boiling. No one should ever treat a woman like that. No one should ever try to _force_ themselves on someone else. It was a crime, it was inhumane. It was rape. “I will make sure of that.”

Christine couldn’t bring herself to answer. Instead, she just buried her face further into Steve’s neck.

“Come on, doll, lets get ya up off the ground,” Steve whispered to her, glancing over at Howard who was staring at the two of them. Colonel Phillips and Agent Carter were still dealing with the brute that did all of this in the first place. 

Howard ran over to the two of them, helping Christine to stand. Howard looked over to Steve for answers, but Steve just shook his head - not yet.

“Let’s go sit down over here,” Steve wanted to get her away from the monster of a man that did this to her. Christine curled into Steve’s side, needing his support to keep her standing. 

The three of them sat together on a picnic table, Christine leaning into Steve for support. The soldier wrapped his arm securely around her, letting her know that he was there for her and that he wasn’t going anywhere. Howard sat on the other side of Christine, trying to piece together what happened.

“Christine!” Colonel Phillips rushed over to the table where they were sitting, Peggy close on his heels. Even as the sun was going down, the dark, bruising handprint on her arm was the first thing they noticed. The second were her tears and swollen eyes. 

“What happened?” Dr. Erskine ran towards the group that was gathered at the picnic table. Steve loosened his grip on Christine, allowing Erskine to look at her arm. A hiss escaped Christine when he accidentally moved her wrist. Howard moved closer to her, his hand resting on the small of her back.

“Chris,” Howard whispered, allowing her to lean into him. “What the hell did he do to you?

“One of the other soldiers was trying to force himself on her...” Steve growled. Christine’s eyes widened as he spoke, she had never seen him like this before. “He tried to take Christine against her will. He was trying to…” he couldn’t say it either. “When I stepped in to intervene, he threw her to the ground and she landed on her wrist.” 

“That explains the swelling,” Abraham gently looked at her wrist.

“Who was the soldier? I want a name and I want him discharged,” Howard demanded. 

“Nicolas Smith,” Peggy told him. “I added a black eye to the broken nose you gave him.”

“I apologize for one of my soldiers treating you like that, he will be punished accordingly and removed from this base immediately, Dr. Lane,” Phillips assured her. “Rogers, what were you going to do against Smith?”

“Whatever I had to do to get him to let Christine go,” Steve’s jaw was firm, eyes narrowed. “I don’t like bullies. Especially one that would treat a woman like that.”

“Good work, soldier, you’re dismissed,” Phillips told him. Christine’s eyes widened, Steve was her rock in that moment and she was afraid of him leaving her side.

“You going to be okay?” Steve whispered to Christine. She nodded, knowing that she needed to go to the lab, to go back to work. Steve didn’t want to leave her side, but he knew that they all had a work meeting tonight. He knew he couldn’t stay.

“I got her,” Howard promised Steve. Steve looked from Howard to Christine and she nodded again, letting Steve know that she would be okay with Howard. With that, he forced himself to leave her side.

“He’s either brave or stupid,” Phillips mumbled as he watched Steve walk away.

“Brave,” Christine snapped at Phillips, her eyes narrowed.

“Let’s go get your taken care of, doll,” Howard wiped a few more Christine’s tears away.

“It’s just a sprain, I can wrap it for you,” Erskine assured her, looking up from her wrist. Christine nodded and Howard kept an arm protectively around her as the five of them headed towards the lab they were supposed to have met at. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Howard asked Christine softly as Abraham gathered some supplies and aspirin for her.

“I don’t know,” she shook her head, tears still in her eyes. “No one has ever…” she shook her head. Howard only nodded, knowing what she meant to say. 

“There isn’t much I can do for the bruising,” Abraham sighed as he handed her the pills. Christine glanced down at her arm, the hand imprint already started to turn black and blue. 

“That boy was quite small,” Howard glanced back at Chester.

“He’s the best soldier we have on this base,” Christine instinctively glared at Howard, ready to defend Steve. 

“And I don’t doubt that,” Howard assured her, putting his hands up defensively. “How much bigger is this Nicolas?”

“He has an entire foot on Rogers and at least three times the muscle,” Phillips told him and Howard couldn’t help but be impressed. 

“It is an obvious decision, Steven will be our subject,” Abraham announced to the room as he wrapped Christine’s wrist. Christine couldn’t help but smile proudly as everyone else collectively looked surprised. “He has great character, which is important for the experiment to be successful. It is more important for our candidate to be a great man than a good soldier.”

“For example, if you were to take Nicolas and give _him_ the serum… We would create a monster,” Abraham looked horrified at the thought. “The serum enhances everything, from physical to mental. If you give the serum to someone bad, they become evil. Someone good becomes great.”

“And there is no one else here that is better than Steve,” Christine told the other three.

“Other than you, my dear,” Abraham smiled at his colleague, making her both smile and blush. “But unfortunately, I am not allowed to give the serum to you.” 

“I knew when I encountered Steven in Brooklyn that I wanted him to be our subject. He didn’t want to be a soldier because he wanted to kill, he wanted to be a soldier to defend innocent lives. And since he has gotten here, he has done nothing but prove himself to be worthy as the subject. In her entire year here, Steven has been the only soldier to approach Christine to simply be her friend.”

Christine smiled to herself, thinking about those first eight days where he sat next to her in silence because he was so shy around women.

“And from what I can tell,” Abraham continued, “he had never spoken to a woman in his life before that day and was absolutely terrified. But he saw someone who was continuously secluded solely based on her gender and he wanted her to feel as though she was included and had a friend here. So he overcame his own fears and shyness to be that friend for her.” 

“Will his current size affect the outcome?” Chester asked Abraham and Christine couldn’t help but roll her eyes. This was so much more important than Steve’s size. It’s as though everything Abraham had said went in one ear and out the other. 

“Not at all,” Abraham assured them. “As you all know, the procedure is taking place at the end of this week. Colonel Phillips, you have made all the necessary arrangements for the officials in attendance, correct?”

“Of course,” Phillips nodded.

“Howard, Christine, the lab is fully prepared?” he asked the two of them. Christine only nodded while Howard confirmed that all of the technology was ready for the big day.

“And Agent Carter, you are responsible for transporting Steven to the facility,” Abraham reminded her.

“I have scheduled the car,” she assured him. 

“Then the last thing to do is tell him,” Abraham smiled, dismissing them all so that he could go and talk to Steve. 

“Come on, doll, let’s get you back to your room,” Howard helped Christine off the counter she was sitting on. He kept his arm around her, holding her close as they walked to her room.

After today, Christine knew she would no longer be going anywhere alone. 

Christine could sense how nervous Steve was as he removed his shirt and hat. Before laying down on the table, he gave her an anxious look. She hadn’t had the chance to talk to Steve that morning. Her and Erskine left base several hours before the sun rose to ensure that everything was set up properly for the experiment.

The night before, though, she had snuck into the private quarters they were holding him in. Erksine had just left and Steve was breathing quickly, nervous about what was going to happen to him the next day. 

_“Hey, hey, hey,” Christine rushed to his side, crouching down in front of him. Steve’s eyes were fixed on his hands and Christine was worried he was going to trigger an asthma attack by the way he was breathing._

_“I need you to look at me, Steve,” Christine’s hands cupped his face, just like he had done to her only a couple days before. The blonde’s blue eyes finally met hers and she gave him a soft smile. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise. Breathe with me?”_

_“Would you do this?” he asked her._

_“I would never invent something that I wouldn’t go through with myself,” she assured him._

_“But if they would have chosen you over me… would you have said yes? Honestly?”_

_“Yes,” she was honest with him, thinking about how Abraham wanted to pick her for this but couldn’t. Because she was female. “Because I would do anything to actually be able to go out on the field and fight to protect my country. And if I were to become a supersoldier… maybe they would actually see me as a soldier and not just a woman.”_

_“This should be you,” he insisted. “You’re smarter, a better soldier --”_

_“No,” Christine shook her head. “There is no one better for this than you, Steve. Trust me.”_

_“What’s going to happen to me?” There was a fear in his eyes that Christine had never seen. And had she been anyone else, he wouldn’t have let them see that he was afraid. But he trusted Christine, she was one of two people he trusted in this world. And right now, as she talked him down from his panic attack, she reminded him so much of Bucky._

_After tomorrow, he would finally be able to go and join Bucky in the 107th, Steve reminded himself. He had to get over there, had to watch his best friend’s back. Just like Bucky watched his for so many years_

_Christine stayed with him for hours that night, walking him through the procedure and what was going to happen to him. She was honest with him, told him each step, and tried to explain what was going to happen on a molecular level._

_She wasn’t quite sure whether the details were helping him or making him more nervous, but he was grateful she was there. He was grateful that he wasn’t worrying about this alone._

“Comfortable? Erskine asked Steve, his voice bringing Christine back to reality. 

“It’s a little big,” Steve told him, making Christine laugh. “You save me any of that schnapps?

“Not as much as I should have,” Erskine admitted. “Sorry, next time. Mr. Stark? How are your levels?”

“Levels at 100 percent,” Howard informed him as he entered the room. “We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready as we’ll ever be.” Steve looked to Christine again, that slight panic still in his eyes. 

“Agent Carter, don’t you think you’d be more comfortable in the booth?” Erskine asked her, guiding her up the stairs. Christine smirked, knowing that it was crucial for her to be there and that she didn’t have to leave. Although her and Peggy were great friends, as the only two women in higher roles here, there was an underlying competition within their friendship. 

Erskine picked up the mic, explaining to everyone what was about to happen. While he did that, Christine checked in with Steve.

“Are you sure about this?” Christine whispered to Steve. He gave her a weak smile and nodded. She lowered part of the machine down onto his chest before giving him a shot of penicillin.

“That wasn’t so bad,” he said and she couldn’t help but laugh. Christine always laughed when she was nervous, it was a bad habit of hers that she couldn’t quite break. And truth be told, Christine was incredibly nervous. Sure, her and Erskine ran tests and simulations… but this was the first time they’d be performing the experiment on a human subject. And this wasn’t just any human.

This was _Steve,_ her best friend _._ Christine wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she did something to hurt him. 

“That was penicillin,” Erskine informed Steve, rolling his eyes. 

As Erskine began to count down, Christine watched the machines. Blue liquid quickly drained from the tubes, disappearing into Steve. Steve’s eyes shot wide open, a burning pain coursing through him as the liquid entered his body. There was no going back at this point.

Christine realized she hadn’t been breathing as the machine began to close around Steve, moving into an upright position. Once in place, Erskine knocked on the machine, asking if Steve could hear him. Christine’s hands shook at her side and she tried to compose herself, knowing that so many people were watching down on them.

“It’s probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?” Steve asked, making Christine shake her head but also let out the breath she had been holding. No matter how nervous he was, if he was still joking, he was alright. 

“We will proceed,” Erskine said, smiling. Everyone in the room put on glasses to protect their eyes from the light that shone from the machine. Howard began to increase the levels of Vita-Rays, counting in intervals of ten. 

At seventy percent, Steve began to yell in pain. Christine’s stomach dropped and churned at the sound.

“Steve!” she exclaimed, rushing over to the machine.

“Shut it down!” Peggy yelled from above.

“Steve, Steve are you okay?” Christine knocked on the window of the machine. Her hand shook as she listened to him scream, unable to respond to her through the pain. “Steve?” She just needed him to respond, to say anything.

“Kill the reactor, Mr. Stark! Kill the reactor!” Erskine shouted at Howard. Howard hesitated, not wanting to have come this far just to quit here. 

“No!” Steve yelled from the machine and Christine swallowed hard. “I can do this!” He insisted. Christine looked to Howard, hoping he wouldn’t listen but he continued to turn the knob until the Vita-Rays reached 100 percent. Sparks burst throughout the room, just before the machine began to power down.

Erskine yelled for the doors to be opened and Christine gasped when they did.

“It really worked,” she whispered under her breath. Her and Erksine’s work, the hours they spend in the labs… it wasn’t all for nothing. 


	3. Chapter 3

Steve was completely transformed; he was well over a foot taller than he was before and his once small frame was solid muscle. He breathed heavily and Christine was fascinated as she watched his muscles move. Just the night before, she could see his ribs through his shirt. And now… now he was pure, solid muscle.

Before Christine could snap out of her amazement and get to him, Peggy ran down and got in her way.

“How do you feel?” Peggy asked him, looking at him with even more admiration than usual. Christine would be a liar if she didn’t get angry, feeling protective over Steve.

“Taller,” Steve breathed out, making Peggy laugh. Christine made her way over to him, moving Peggy out of the way so that she could get to him. She was the scientist here, afterall. 

“I need to check your vita-” she started to say when there was an explosion from the room above. Steve pulled Christine to him, covering her body with his as glass shattered around them.

Everything happened so fast, Christine was unable to process what was going on. She could feel Steve’s much larger body against hers, protecting her as the sound of glass hit the floor mixed with screams.

“Stop him!” she heard Erskine yell and when she finally looked up, a man was stealing the last vial of the serum. 

The entire scene in front of her moved in slow motion once Christine realized the man had a gun in his hand. Her heart stopped and she screamed as he pointed it at Erskine, shooting him right in the heart. Steve let go of her to get to Abraham, rushing towards him as his body hit the floor. Steve was so focused on Abraham, he hadn’t even realized that the man was now pointing at Christine. 

Christine looked up from her mentor’s body just before another shot went off. A searing hot pain shot through Christine’s shoulder just before the man ran off, not risking another second in the lab.

It wasn’t until the pain of the bullet piercing her skin radiated through her did she realize that the gun had been pointed at her. 

Christine fell to the ground from the impact of the gun shot, but she didn’t care about the physical pain. It was the emotional pain that made her feel like she was going to die. Her mentor laid on the floor, only a few feet from her. Blood began to pool around him and she watched as Erskine looked up at Steve, pointing towards his heart before his hand went limp.

Still unaware of the state Christine was in and furious over the death of Abraham, Steve ran after the man that did this.

Christine crawled over to Erskine’s body, ignoring the shards of glass that dug into her knees and hands, ignoring the blood that was seeping through her top. She didn’t care about herself. She needed him to be alive. He couldn’t die. He couldn’t. They still had so much work to do, he still had so much he had wanted to teach her. 

_ He didn’t deserve this. He was a good man. _

Her fingers searched desperately for a pulse, she begged for there to be one -- but she couldn’t find one. She checked every pulse point and there was nothing.

Sobs escaped her as she collapsed over his body, mourning the loss of her mentor, her friend.

“Chris,” Howard rushed over, pulling her off his friend’s corpse. His eyes widened as he assessed her upper half. Blood was beginning to spread quickly, her once white shirt was now soaked with red. “Chris, we need to get you to medical.”

“I have to go help Steve,” she sobbed, trying to get up but collapsing in Howard’s arms. She was light headed and she couldn’t remember why. 

“Christine, you were just shot,” he reminded her and her brows pulled together in confusion. 

“What?” her voice was faint, the letters of the word slurring together. Everything started to get fuzzy, a sharp, hot pain radiated through her shoulder and she looked down, seeing nothing but red. 

“Steve will take care of it, it’s what he was made for. Oh god, you’re losing a lot of blood, Chris,” Howard called for help and the nurses in the room began to rush over, bringing gauze and towels over. Howard pressed them against the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. 

“We need a doctor!” Howard screamed, they needed to get the bullet out. They needed to close the wound or else she might bleed out.

Chester ran back into the lab after losing the thief and his eyes immediately fell on Christine and Howard.

“Oh god,” Chester whispered as he realized what had happened. Everyone had been so shocked by the first gunshot, they hadn’t even noticed the second one. 

Christine was pale white, blood seeping through her white top and lab coat. Howard was screaming, hands covered in red as he pressed against the wound.

Everyone began to move quickly around her but Christine couldn’t figure out why. Voices were shouting but she was unable to process anything as her vision blurred even more.

“Hey, hey,” Howard’s voice tried to anchor her to reality. “I need you to stay with me, Christine,” his voice sounded broken, sad. She wanted to help him, wanted to take away his pain. 

“I’m tired, Howard,” her voice sounded foreign to her. The words didn’t even sound real anymore.

“No, no, no. I need you to stay awake,” he pleaded with her. 

She thought she heard someone yell something about her losing too much blood, but she wasn’t quite sure who they were talking about. If she was able to focus just a little more, she could probably help… 

Christine went limp in Howard’s arms and he screamed out in panic, begging for a doctor that he knew wasn’t there. He couldn’t remain calm, not while his best friend bled out in his arms. 

“She can’t wait, we need to remove the bullet now,” Howard’s voice shook as he looked up at Chester, pleading for help. 

“Get her to one of the emergency medical rooms, doctors are on their way,” Chester tried to remain calm but he was almost as pale as Christine in that moment. He couldn’t believe his best scientist, his best soldier, had been shot... and he hadn’t even noticed. 

Howard nodded, scooping Christine up in his arms before rushing out of the lab and down the hall to the medical room. He continued to apply pressure to the wound, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. Nurses rushed behind him and the second she was lying on the operating table, they began to hook her up to various machines.

“She’s going to need a transfusion,” Howard said out loud, still applying pressure to the wound. “Oh my god, we don’t have blood… we weren’t prepared for this…” 

Fear was consuming him as he realized what was happening, as it began to sink in. Howard looked down at his hands, where they held red stained towels against Christine’s chest. His eyes moved to her face… he’d never seen someone so pale. Her lips were an unnatural color and his stomach churned. 

_ She looked like she was dying. _

“WHY WEREN’T WE PREPARED FOR THIS?” He screamed out, startling the nurses around him. 

Steve ran back into the lab, soaked from having jumped into the water to stop the man. His eyes scanned the room, searching for Christine. But instead of finding her familiar black bob and red lips, his eyes fell on a pool of red blood, only a few feet away from where he had left Abraham’s body... where Christine had been standing before he took off. His stomach twisted, his heart felt like it stopped beating.

That’s when his mind registered the sound of the second gun shot. 

“Where’s Christine?” he asked, eyes darting around as he searched for someone with the answer. No one would look at him, frantic phone calls were being made, voices were loud and rushed. 

“Where’s Christine!?” Steve shouted, his voice booming, and the room fell silent.

“Medical Room B,” Chester told him, unable to even look at him, his voice solemn. Steve immediately noticed how pale he was, noticed that look of fear in his eyes. 

Steve’s feet were moving before he could even process what was happening. His eyes scanned each and every room number and letter until he finally found B. 

He barrelled through the doors, his eyes immediately going to Christine; pale and lifeless on a cold, metal table. Bile rose up in Steve’s throat as he took in the scene. 

  
“What do you mean you can’t get any Type O blood bags here in the next ten minutes!? Do you know who you’re talking to? This is Howard Stark--” Howard was screaming into a phone while applying pressure to Christine’s shoulder.

Red was everywhere. Across her bare chest, up Howard’s arms and on his clothes, absorbed into the fabric he was using to apply pressure to her wound. 

Steve’s mind was lagging, unable to comprehend that his best friend was laying on a metal table, lifeless. Blood was everywhere,  _ Christine’s blood. _ God, there was so much blood.

“I’m Type O,” Steve blurted out and Howard jumped, not knowing Steve was in the room with him. The phone dropped from between Howard’s ear and shoulder, his eyes fixed on Steve now.

“We don’t know if the serum had any effect on your blood, we don’t know if giving her your blood will have any effect on her…” Howard began to ramble.

“Does it matter!?” Steve yelled. “She needs a transfusion or else she’s not going to make it.”

Howard was at war with himself for a moment, unsure of what to do. If Christine didn’t get the transfusion, she wasn’t going to make it… But if she got it from Steve, there might be side effects. 

“I can’t let her die, knowing I could have saved her,” Steve told him, his gaze firm.

“Someone, start the transfusion,” Howard called to a nurse. They could deal with side effects, so long as Christine was alive. 

“We don’t have blood bags,” a nurse told him, her voice barely a whisper from fear of Howard’s reaction

“Dear fucking god! Were we not prepared for an emergency  _ at all _ ?!” Howard screamed. “Then hook him up to her! I don’t care what you have to do! And where the fuck is the doctor!?” 

Steve was placed in a chair near Christine and he was barely processing what was happening as the nurses stuck a needle in his arm. His free hand found Christine’s and he held onto it for dear life. All he could do in that moment was pray, pray she would be okay. Pray that his blood wouldn’t hurt her even more. 

“About fucking time,” Howard said as a doctor ran in, already prepped for surgery. Howard continued yelling at the doctor, cursing him up and down for taking his time getting there. In no time at all, Howard was removed from the operating room. The doctor was unable to work while Howard screamed at him, asking what his credentials were and wondering if the university he went to ever taught him what an emergency meant. 

Steve sat there, a tube attached to his arm that led to an IV bag, which was then attached to a needle in Christine’s arm by another tube. 

Steve had to remain there, attached to Christine as the doctor cut into her shoulder to remove the bullet. He was thankful to hear that it wasn’t a life threatening injury, that the bullet didn’t hit anything vital. 

The excessive blood loss was due to anemia, Steve heard a nurse say. Someone else said something about how lucky Christine was that Steve was Type O, like her. Nurses kept checking on Steve, making sure that he wasn’t losing too much blood, but he wasn’t even phased.  _ Must be the serum _ , he thought. 

While the doctor removed the bullet and stitched Christine up, the nurses began to remove the shards of glass that were buried in Christine’s hands and legs. Steve had been so horrified by the bullet wound, he hadn’t even noticed her hands and legs. 

There was so much blood. Steve had never seen so much red, hoped he would never again… But he was a soldier now, he was going to war. Red was a color he was going to need to get used to.

Steve was terrified the entire procedure. He had never seen someone so pale before. Sure, Christine’s skin was normally a porcelain white… but there was a lifeless factor to her skin now that made Steve’s stomach churn. 

And he was even more terrified that his blood was going to end up hurting her more than healing her. They hadn’t even had a chance to check his vitals yet, let alone see what effects the serum had on his blood. He was petrified that him trying to help her would be the reason for her death.

“There,” the doctor declared when he was finished stitching Christine up. Steve had no idea how long he had been sitting there; it could have been ten minutes or ten hours… either way, it had felt like an eternity. 

The bullet and glass sat on a table in a dish next to the doctor and the sight of it made Steve angry. He mentally beat himself up for not realizing Christine had been shot after Erskine. He was so caught up in catching the guy, he hadn’t taken a moment to make sure that Christine was okay. 

“Her blood levels are still critical,” a nurse told Steve, causing him to finally snap back to reality. “You’ll need to sit here for a few more hours.

“Okay,” Steve nodded, willing to sit there for two days if Christine needed him to. He would drain himself dry if he had to. 

When the doctors and nurses were gone, Howard, Chester, and Peggy filled the room. 

“Oh, Christine,” Peggy whispered, taking her hand on the side of the bed opposite of Steve. 

“The doctor said that she should be okay after the transfusion,” Howard announced to the room. “But we still don’t know if Steve’s blood will have any effect on her…” 

“It was take the chance or let her die,” Steve reminded them, defensive of his choice.

“No one is mad at you, Steve,” Howard assured him. 

“If anything, we’re grateful,” Peggy added. Steve just nodded, his hand still gripping onto Christine’s. He needed her to be okay, he couldn’t do this without her.

Christine’s color began to return after an hour. Only Steve and Howard were left in the room, Chester and Peggy both had officials they had to deal with. Howard probably should have been out there, but he refused to leave Christine’s side. And Steve, of course, couldn’t - and wouldn’t - go anywhere. 

Steve’s eyes were transfixed on Christine’s face, hoping to see some sign that she was going to wake up. 

He could have cried from relief when her eyes began to flutter open.

“Oh thank god,” he breathed out as her eyes opened, just to close again from the brightness of the room. A whimper escaped her lips and her hand squeezed Steve’s.

“What the hell happened?” she croaked, opening her eyes again to let them adjust.

“You were shot, Christine,” Howard told her gently, unsure of what all she remembered. 

“Explains the pain,” she groaned and Howard immediately started to look for some pain pills in the cabinets. Christine’s attention turned towards Steve, her eyes widening for just a moment before she let out a pathetic laugh. “Almost forgot you were twice as big now, Stevie.” 

“Yeah, all thanks to you,” he gave her a gentle smile, her hand a squeeze. She squeezed back, ignoring how his tight grip was causing her hand to be sore. She didn’t care though, she needed the comfort.

“Abraham,” Christine whispered, remembering what had happened. Tears stung her eyes and her throat tightened as she remembered seeing his corpse, his blood pooling on the ground as she threw herself over his body. 

“I’m so sorry, Christine,” Steve reached up, wiping her tears away. “He deserved so much better than this.” 

“We need to check your vitals and take some of your blood so I can try to recreate the serum. There were some things that Abraham didn’t tell me,” Christine started to sit up but Howard rushed over to them, pills in hand.

“Woah, woah, woah, Christine,” Howard stopped her. “You need to stay still. You were just shot and you’re kinda connected to Steve right now.” Christine looked at him confused and then glanced over at Steve, realizing there was a needle in his arm. She followed the tube in his arm, up to the IV drip, then down to her own arm. 

“Oh,” Christine looked back up at Steve. He looked shy at that moment.

“You lost a lot of blood, Chris, you needed a transfusion and they couldn’t get any type O here in time and O can only accept O,” Steve began to ramble.

“And you’re Type O,” she remembered it from his file. She probably knew Steve’s medical history better than he did at this point. 

“They’re not sure if the serum in my blood is going to have any effect on you, but it was take the chance or…”

“Thank you,” she cut Steve off. He smiled shyly at her again, nodding as he looked down at his hands. “I can’t stay confined in a bed, though.”

“Will you at least wait for your transfusion to end?” Howard sighed, knowing how stubborn Christine tended to be.

“Looks like both the drips are on wheels,” she glanced over the bed. “There’s too much going on right now for me to be laying here.” 

“You’re not going to stay in this bed unless I have Steve hold you down, are you?” Howard asked her and she finally looked at Howard. She had never seen him so disheveled, so upset. He was in a different outfit from the experiment, she realized. His hands were gripping onto the bed she was laying on and when she looked at them, she noticed that they were stained red. 

Stained from her blood, she realized, remembering him taking her in his arms, using his hands to apply pressure to her wounds.

“You really scared me, Chris,” Howard whispered when he realized what she was looking at. 

“I’m sorry,” she looked up at him through thick lashes and he couldn’t help but to melt under her gaze. 

“You did nothing wrong, doll,” Howard promised her, his hand caressing her cheek. “But please, I beg you, stay in bed. Just for a few more hours.”

“Okay,” Christine agreed, surprising both Steve and Howard at how easily she agreed. 

“Thank you,” Howard let out a sigh of relief and Christine could see him visibly relax. “I promise in a few hours we’ll get you some clothes and get you out of here.”

“And maybe something to eat?” she looked up hopefully at him.

“Of course, doll,” he chuckled. “Anything you want.” 

“Coffee,” she stated, making him shake his head.

“Real food,” Howard stressed, raising an eyebrow at her and making her laugh. Steve watched the two of them interact, curious about the extent of their relationship. Steve realized that Christine never actually talked about Howard and it was a surprise to him that he was there for the experiment today. 

“Do you… do you think they’re going to dismiss me because I’m injured?” she looked up at Howard, fear in her eyes. She couldn’t lose her job, it was all she had. 

“Of course not,” Howard assured her. “You’re our best scientist. You’re irreplaceable, Chris.” 

Christine sighed, hoping he was right as she settled back into the medical bed. Her eyes felt heavy, she was exhausted - both mentally and physically. 

“Get some rest, doll,” Howard whispered, putting the pain medicine in her IV. Christine nodded again, eyes closed as she continued to hold Steve’s hand. Only a few moments passed before she was asleep. 

Howard let out a sigh of relief when he realized she was asleep, still surprised he was able to get her to stay in bed. 

“You really care about her,” Steve stated out loud and Howard’s attention snapped towards the super soldier. Howard took a moment, trying to read Steve.

“You’re not her only friend, Steve,” Howard reminded him. “I met Chris before she came on base, just after Abraham had chosen her as his assistant. We’ve been friends for the past year and a half. She’s one of the few people I care about.”

Steve nodded, respecting that. She was one of the few people he cared about, too. It was so easy to care about her, to admire her, to love her. Christine had a positivity and warmth to her that could draw anyone in. Her personality was addicting. Even during the darkness and negativity of the war, she was a beam of hope. 

Howard reached out, tucking a strand of Christine’s hair behind her ear and out of her face. Steve watched him closely, watched how his hand lingered a moment. Howard’s eyes were different when he looked at Christine. Typically, there was an arrogance to the man. But when it came to Christine, there was nothing but softness. 

“I’m going to go get her some food,” Howard decided. “If she wakes up, let her know I’ll be back soon with something for her to eat.”

“Of course,” Steve nodded, his eyes still fixed on Christine’s face. He kept her hand in his, holding onto it tight. 

Steve was grateful that Christine had woken up, but he was still terrified. He knew they were at war, knew the dangers that they were up against… But he hadn’t realized the danger  _ Christine _ was facing. 

Steve had thought that she was safe in her lab, he thought it was the safest place she could possibly be.

After today, though, he realized that because of what she was capable of, Christine had the largest target on her back out of all of them.


	4. Chapter 4

While she was asleep, a nurse came in and stopped the transfusion once Christine’s blood levels were back to a safe range. Shortly after the nurse left, Howard returned with bags of food and coffee in hand.

“Here,” Howard handed Steve one bag. “You’ll need to get your sugar levels back up.” 

“Thank you,” Steve took the bag from him, even though his sugar was fine. It was hard for him to believe that he just donated several pints of blood and felt perfectly fine - minus the fact that he was just starving. 

“Chris,” Howard gently woke Christine up, stroking her hair back as he did so.

“Hmm?” she woke up slowly, squinting from the bright light, and then turning into her pillow.

“I brought you coffee, doll,” Howard chuckled as her eyes opened up, searching for the coffee. “And pancakes.”

“Blueberry?” she asked him as she took the coffee from him. 

“Is there any other kind?” he smiled at her, setting a tray in front of her before unpacking the food for her. 

“Thank you,” she said softly, her hands tucked tightly around her coffee. 

“Anything for you, doll,” he grinned and Steve couldn’t help but to wonder if there was more going on between the two of them. 

Steve smiled to himself, hoping that maybe that was the case. Christine deserved to find someone, she deserved to be happy. 

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to go chat with Chester,” Howard told her before disappearing out of the medical room again.

“What are you smiling about over there, Rogers?” Christine arched a brow. 

“He seems to care about you,” Steve blushed from being caught. 

“He’s one of my best friends,” Christine shrugged it off.

“And nothing more than that?” Steve asked her, causing Christine’s brows to furrow together. 

“No?” she felt as though she was missing something. “What are you getting at Steve?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, trying to remain as casual as possible. “It just seems like you guys get along really well. He clearly cares about you, Chris. You should have seen how he was acting before they got the bullet out… I don’t know, it just seems like Howard would be a good man for you to settle down with. I mean, your kids would be brilliant.”

Christine was dumbfounded, she couldn’t believe her ears. She couldn’t believe this was coming from Steve.

“You know very well that that is something I don’t want,” she told him. “You know for a fact that I’m not one to settle.”

“You never want to get married or have kids?” he asked her.

“I mean… I do, but not right now. We’re in the middle of a war, Steve. Why would I want to have kids brought into this world right now? Plus, I have a never ending list of experiments and inventions an-”

“You were already successful with me,” Steve cut her off. “You could probably retir-”

“Retire?!” she yelled. “Steven, we wanted an army of you and we got one soldier! You may have been successful, but you are not enough. Abraham was murdered over this experiment, someone tried to murder me, and you expect me to just retire and settle down and forget about completing the work Abraham gave his life up for?” 

“If you continue this work, you could lose your life next,” he told her, voice softer now. “It’s not sa-” 

“That’s what this is about? You want me to run away from my work because my life's on the line? Do you not think I considered that when I joined the army? I’m one of the leading scientists at war, of course it’s going to be dangerous! Of course there is going to be a target on my head - I’m the one making the goddamn scope! But just because I’m a valuable target doesn’t mean I’m going to hang up my lab coat and run!”

“Christine, you were shot!” Steve yelled at her. His voice boomed through the tiny room, startling her. 

“Soldier’s get shot,” she growled at him. “I signed up for this war as not only a scientist but a soldier. I am not running from this fight.” 

“I think you should go, Steve,” a voice interrupted the two of them. Both Christine and Steve turned towards the door to find Howard standing there. 

“No, I-” Steve started.

“He’s right, you should go,” Christine glared up at him. Steve’s face fell, knowing full well that he fucked up. He looked at Christine’s amber eyes, swearing that the golden hue was gone and replaced with red. He knew he wasn’t wanted here… and so, he left.

“What the hell was that about?” Howard asked her, taking a seat next to Christine. 

“Oh he thinks I should retire, marry you, settle down, birth and raise your intelligent children,” Christine huffed, stabbing a pancake.

“Does he not know you at all?” Howard laughed. “That’s your definition of a living hell.” 

“I got shot and he finally realized we were at war,” Christine angrily ate her pancakes and Howard couldn’t help but to laugh at her, earning a glare directed at him.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t take you seriously when you’re angrily eating pancakes,” he teased her, causing her glare to falter.

“I’d throw one at you, but I’m not about to waste these delicious pancakes,” she pretended to threaten him, only making him laugh more. 

After Christine had finished eating, Peggy helped Christine to get changed from the hospital gown and into some real clothes. 

“There,” Peggy smoothed out Christine’s shirt for her. Christine’s arm was in a sling so that she wouldn’t move her arm and disturb her new wound. 

“Are you okay, love?” Peggy asked Christine while the two were alone.

“No,” Christine sighed, shaking her head. “But what choice do I have but to ignore everything and keep pushing forward?” 

“Unfortunately we don’t have much of a choice when at war,” Peggy gave her a sad smile. Christine only nodded, leaving the separate room now that she was dressed/ 

“Pack your bags, Agent Carter, Dr. Lane,” Chester’s voice boomed as Christine and Peggy rejoined everyone. “You too, Stark! We’re flying to London tonight.”

Christine was both surprised and relieved; she thought she was going to be left behind now that she was injured. She thought her gunshot wound was the end of her career. She thought that her entire life’s work was going to be ripped away from her because someone saw her intelligence as a threat.

But she was a soldier, and sometimes, soldiers get hurt. But they keep on fighting. And Christine would never quit fighting.

Steve’s jaw tensed at the news. Christine was shot only hours before and they were immediately sending her overseas?

“Sir, if you’re going after Schmidt, I want in,” Steve jumped into the conversation.

“You’re an experiment,” Chester reminded him and Christine watched as Steve deflated. 

“A successful experiment,” Christine butted in, eyes narrowed and her fist clenched by her side. She might have been mad at Steven, but she would always defend her work. “Erskine and I didn’t work our asses off just to leave him behind. Erskine didn’t lose his life just for Steve to be left on the sidelines.”

“And what if it didn’t actually work? If it’s temporary? What if he wakes up tomorrow and he’s barely five feet again? I asked for an army and all I got was him. He’s staying behind,” Chester shut her down before turning away to talk to somebody else.

Christine knew he was right, they weren’t sure what was going to happen to Steve. And honestly, Christine should probably be staying behind to monitor his health. But after he tried to convince her to settle down, Christine was eager to put an ocean between the two of them. 

“Christine!” Howard called after her. “Care to share a cab back to base?” he asked and she nodded, turning away from Steve without saying goodbye.

Christine watched from afar as Steve became America’s puppet. It left her angry and full of rage. Her and Erskine worked hard to make Project Rebirth a reality… and this is what the military was going to do with their success? Dress him in tights and dance him around on a stage for stocks?

With each show, it became cheesier and cheesier, more and more elaborate. Comics and movies were made about Captain America, merchandise was created. Kids and women approached Steve constantly. 

Christine couldn’t blame the children for being so infatuated with him. He was a superhero, afterall. But the women? They were only interested in him based on his looks… and Christine knew that Steve was so much more than that.

Steve had finally made it overseas and Christine stood in the back of the crowd of soldiers. It broke Christine’s heart as she watched him pretend to punch the fake Hitler. This isn’t what she had in mind for her super soldier. He was supposed to be out there on the frontlines, going after the real Hitler. He was supposed to be fighting a real threat. 

At least he finally got the order to go overseas, where Steve was supposed to rally the troops and encourage them to keep fighting rather than storm the front lines himself. But the troops didn’t care about him, they only wanted to see the girls dancing in short skirts. 

After Steve was booed off stage, Christine decided it was finally time to talk to him. It had been almost a year since she last saw him. And it wasn’t an easy year, at all. 

Even though her and Howard were working tirelessly to create the next big thing that would help them to win the war, she constantly found herself missing her best friend. Perhaps she could have tracked him down and gotten a phone number for whatever hotel he was staying in that week - but what would she even say?

Christine slipped backstage, only to find him talking to Peggy -- who wasn’t even supposed to be here. She sighed with frustration. Peggy always had a way of beating her to Steve. 

Deciding she’d talk to him later, she stopped by the medical tents to see if the nurses could use an extra hand. 

Dozens of men were wounded, and every time one of them hit on her, she left them with a black eye. It only took three guys walking around with black eyes before the soldiers finally stopped hitting on her, realizing she wasn’t there to mess around. She didn’t bother with the fake smiles and bother being polite anymore. She ended up with a sprained wrist last time that happened.

Christine might have been significantly shorter than the men there, might have even looked soft because of her delicate curves. But she trained hard and she packed a punch.

Christine preoccupied herself in the medical tent until it was time for Steve’s next show. When she finally convinced herself to stop procrastinating and emerged, everyone was panicking. Steve was missing. She ran to Chester’s tent, startling him as she burst in.

“Where is he?” she asked quickly, thinking that perhaps Chester had sent him to do something. 

“Who?” Chester asked, confused.

“Steve, where is Steve?” she breathed out and Chester cursed under his breath before getting up, storming out of his tent. She followed him to Peggy’s tent then to Howard’s, cursing the entire time. All three of them were missing.

“They’re gone,” he cursed. “They must have taken him to Hydra’s base.”

“What? Why?” she asked, panic in her voice. 

“He wants to rescue the soldiers that Hydra has captured, he knew someone that went missing,” he explained. 

Bucky. She remembered Steve saying he was in the 107th… How did she not remember that sooner? She had been surrounded by what remained of the 107th for months and it hadn’t even dawned on her. 

Her hands began to tremble at the news and her mind began to think of all the possibilities of what might happen next. There was no way the three of them were going to be able to infiltrate Hydra’s base alone.

“Do you think he’ll make it back?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Chester didn’t answer her, wouldn’t even look her in the eyes. Tears welled in her eyes as she realized that Steve wasn’t going to make it back from this. 

“Would you like a drink?” Chester asked quietly and she nodded. They walked back to the tent that acted as his makeshift office where he pulled two glasses and a bottle of scotch out of his drawer. He poured them each a drink and Christine drank it quickly, ignoring the burn that travelled down her throat. 

They waited together, waiting for Steve to return. But he never did, only Howard and Peggy returned. 

"...as a result, I must declare Captain Steven Rogers killed in action. Period," Chester’s voice was full of sadness. Tears ran down Christine’s cheek, her head throbbed from how much she had been crying over the last two weeks but the pain she felt inside was much worse. 

Peggy walked into the tent and Christine quickly exited without acknowledging her. Christine would always blame Peggy for what happened to Steve. 

Peggy was the one to feed him the information about the 107th. She was the one to bring Howard into all of this, convincing him to fly Steve over enemy lines. She was the one that allowed Steve to go alone. Had it been Christine, she would have insisted on going with him. Christine would have never let him go alone. Christine would have been there, fighting by his side. 

The moment the two of them had returned without him, Christine was enraged to find out that they had allowed Steve to go alone. She had thought that they were going to go with him as backup - not let him go alone.

She tried to steady her breathing, tried her hardest to stop the tears that kept rolling down her cheeks, but she couldn’t. Her throat felt like it was tightening, her best friend had just been declared dead after being missing for over a week. 

Breathe, just breathe, she tried to remember Steve’s voice. Tried to calm herself down because she knew that’s what Steve would want. But thinking of him only made it worse. The more she thought about him and how important Steve was to her, the harder it became to breathe.

He died thinking she hated him.

The base was suddenly louder than usual, especially for how early it was, soldiers were all yelling and running in one direction. Her head snapped up, trying to figure out what had them so riled up. Confused, she followed them to figure out what was going on. 

When she realized what all the commotion was about, she stopped dead in her tracks. 

Leading a large army of men was none other than Captain Steven Rogers. 

He spotted her across the yard, greeting her with a small, bashful smirk. A loud sob escaped her as she saw him walking towards her. Before she knew it, she was running towards him and didn’t stop. She threw herself into his arms, wrapping her arms tight around his neck and holding onto him for dear life. 

Steve’s arms wrapped around her waist and he lifted her up, holding her tight to him. She should have known, she thought to herself. She should have known that he was the only person that could have done this.

“I thought you were dead,” Christine hit him in the chest and he laughed, pulling her back into his arms and giving her a firm hug.

“You built me to be pretty tough, remember?” he smiled down at her. 

“Are you okay?” she asked him, pulling away to look him over. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched her instantly go into doctor mode. Her small hand wrapped around his wrist, fingers pressing against his pulse point as she began to count. He had quickly learned that the first thing she always checked was the pulse. She needed to be able to find the heartbeat.

Steve’s fingers moved under her chin and he tilted her chin upwards. Her cheeks were tear stained, her eyes were red and swollen. His calloused fingers wiped away her tears. Just by looking at her, he realized she hadn’t slept since he left. Doe eyes looked back up at him and they were full of so much fear. 

“I’m okay, Chris,” he assured her, pulling her back into a hug. “Are you?”

“No,” she whispered and before she could say anything else, Steve noticed Colonel Phillips approaching. 

“Some of these men need medical attention,” he told her. Then he looked over her shoulder. “I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action.”

“That won’t be necessary,” she heard Chester say and Steve nodded before pulling away from Christine again, wiping her tears away.

“Chris, there’s someone I want you to meet,” Steve turned towards a man with dark hair and serious, steel blue eyes that was hovering rather close to Steve. “This is my best pal, Bucky.” 

“The famous Bucky,” she smiled at the soldier, suddenly very self conscious about her current appearance. Bucky smiled back and Christine swore every hair on her body stood on end. It felt like she’d been electrocuted. 

Mentally, though, she began notating his bruises and the bleeding from his ear. He needed tests ran, stat. 

“And you must be the Christine that Steve wouldn’t stop talking about,” Bucky smirked at her. Christine looked to where Steve once stood but found his attention had turned to Peggy. “And that must be Peggy, the other dame he talked about. Gotta say, never thought Steve would have two beautiful dames by his side.”

“You weren’t here, who else was supposed to keep the Captain in line?” Christine arched a brow, her hands falling on her hips as she sassed the soldier. 

“Steve was right,” he smirked, shaking his head with a little laugh. Christine’s brows furrowed together in confusion. But before she could ask, Bucky started cheering for the Captain. 

Christine couldn’t pull her eyes away from Bucky’s as he cheered for his best friend. The two held eye contact the entire time and Christine couldn’t stop the giddy laugh that escaped her. 

The cheering eventually stopped, the crowd began to disperse, everyone began to plan tomorrow evening’s celebration. But before going back to her tent, Christine pulled Steve aside.

“Steve, I’m worried about Bucky,” she whispered. “Bleeding from the ear is a serious sign of trauma…” 

“I noticed,” Steve glanced over Christine’s shoulder, watching Bucky head towards the showers. “When I found him… Chris, they had him strapped to a table and he was barely conscious. God only knows what they were doing to him.” 

“I don’t know him well enough to insist that he needs medical attention…” Christine’s voice trailed off, hoping Steve would get the hint.

“I’ll get him to your lab,” Steve nodded. 

“I will meet you there,” she told him before turning quickly towards her lab to prep for a physical.


	5. Chapter 5

“Bucky, Christine said you need tests so you’re getting tested,” Steve pushed Bucky into Christine’s lab. From what Christine could tell, Steve grabbed him before he even had a chance to shower. Bucky was still covered in dirt and dried blood, his clothes tattered. He looked like he had just been dragged through hell.

“I’m fine,” the soldier dragged out the ‘i’ in fine, his Brooklyn accent was thick, his eyes never leaving Christine’s. Christine felt her stomach twist under his gaze.

“Steve’s right, we don’t know what Zola could have done to you,” Christine tried to encourage him to let her check him over and run some tests. “I just want to make sure that there are no negative or damaging effects of one, being held captive and two, Steve told me how he found you.” 

Bucky’s eyes fell for just a moment before flickering back to hers. He seemed embarrassed or ashamed by what he had endured. Christine just wanted to tell him that it was out of his control, that there was nothing he could have done.

“You can trust her, Bucky. She’s the best scientist in the military. Helped create me, even,” Steve smiled at his friend, proud of how smart she was. 

“You did?” Bucky’s eyes widened in shock.

“Are you surprised because I’m a woman?” she crossed her arms, eyes narrow as she became defensive of her status. A smirk crossed the soldiers lips - he liked the fire in the scientist in front of him. 

“Not at all, I’m just surprised I get the honor of meeting such a brilliant scientist,” Bucky smiled sincerely at her. The comment caught her off guard and she fought off the blush that threatened to warm her cheeks. “I’ve always been a fan of science and all the new gadgets that Mr. Stark makes.” 

“Buck and I actually went to the Stark Expo the night before he deployed,” Steve piped in, trying to remind his two friends that he was still there. 

“The Expo is just a front,” Christine rolled her eyes. “Gimmicks to distract from the weapons Howard creates…” She shook her head and then looked back to Bucky. “So, can I run those tests?” Christine asked his permission, wanting him to know that she wasn’t going to do anything without his consent. 

Bucky hesitated, eyes fixed on the needle in Christine’s hands. Christine thought back to what Steve had said. He was strapped to a table. 

Christine put the needle down, instead picking up her stethoscope. Bucky looked at her, grateful that she understood but didn’t say anything. 

“I’m going to step out,” Steve said, even though neither of them noticed that he was even there anymore. 

“I’ll start with your basic vitals, okay?” Christine asked Bucky before starting. She was worried she’d startle him or cause a flashback. His trauma was so fresh that he probably hadn’t even had a chance to begin to capture what he went through. She had no idea what he went through while captured, but she was going to assume the worst. It was HYDRA, afterall.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded. That sounded easy to him. Christine took Bucky’s hand in hers and turned his wrist over so she could get to his pulse. His pulse beat hard under her fingertips. The longer she kept her fingers there, the faster his pulse became. Christine tried to hide her blush as she continued to work, checking over his basic vitals. 

“Can you tell me anything about your time in captivity?” Christine needed to know what they did to him so she knew what to check. 

Bucky’s body immediately tensed as he thought about what they did to him, about the hell that he faced. Christine immediately noticed the shift in the energy in the room. Her hand found his, grounding him to this moment.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now,” she spoke softly to him. “But, it’ll help me figure out what tests I should run.”

Bucky chewed on his lip nervously, scared to say what they did to him out loud. 

“I don’t know why they picked me,” Bucky whispered, unaware of his grip tightening around Christine’s hand. But she didn’t mind, she didn’t mind being his anchor in this moment. She knew that he was going to need someone to help him process through this, that he couldn’t do this alone. And if he’d let her, she’d be there for him.

“But… they knew about Project Rebirth,” Bucky told her and her eyes widened. “They wanted to recreate it. They wanted their own super soldiers… And they picked me to be their test subject. I didn’t know what Project Rebirth was or what they were talking about… But, now that I know that the subject of Project Rebirth was Steve, I wondered if they knew who I was the whole time. I wondered if I wasn’t a random choice, afterall.”

“I mean, it’d be the perfect evil plan,” Bucky continued. “Two best friends turned superheroes turned enemies.”

“They were using you as a human test subject?” Christine whispered, her voice cracking, unable to believe that he was tortured because of her work. 

“But that’s not all,” Bucky let out a shaky breath, his hand trembling slightly in hers. “They kept putting me in this machine, on my head… It’s what caused this bruising,” his free hand lifted up, touching the black and blue under his eyes. 

“Do you know what the machine did?” she asked softly and Bucky looked at her, swallowing hard.

“Mind control,” he said under his breath and Christine’s heart stopped in her chest. 

“Oh my god,” she breathed, her throat tightening at the horrible thought. 

Hydra is trying to take away people’s freewill. 

“They didn’t… they didn’t succeed,” he managed to tell her. “I kept fighting it, refusing to give in…” 

“I can’t --,” Christine shook her head, unable to believe what he had been through. And it was all her fault. Christine let go of Bucky’s hand and instead wrapped her arms around the soldier. He was hesitant at first, startled by the hug. But he slowly lifted his own arms, wrapping them around her waist. 

“I’m sorry my work did this to you,” Christine whispered, tears stinging the back of her eyes. She had always wanted to leave a lasting impact on the world. She wanted to make a difference. She wanted to help others… this was the opposite. 

“You didn’t do this,” Bucky pulled away from her slightly so he could see into her eyes. He could see the tears that had started to gather upon hearing the torture he went through.

“My work inspired this,” she breathed out and Bucky shook his head, insisting that no, this wasn’t her fault.

“From what Steve told me, the super serum was being created long before you joined the project. The head of Hydra, Smidt, he had already injected himself with a version of it that turned him into a monster before Dr. Erskine even joined the army. And the mind control part? That was never something that you inspired. That was Hydra’s own twisted idea.”

“You didn’t cause this, Christine,” Bucky promised her. “I don’t blame you.” 

“I just… I never thought this would be the result of the experiment,” Christine found herself questioning her decision to join the Army, to join Abraham’s project. “I’m going to stop this…”

“I think you might be the only one that can,” Bucky told her and she let out a shaky breath.

“I know that wasn’t easy to tell me, but thank you for letting me know,” Christine looked up at Bucky, his blue eyes intensely staring back at hers. They were the color of icicles, Christine realized. Bucky only nodded, his eyes falling on the needle on the table beside him.

“I just want to take some blood, no injections,” Christine promised him and Bucky’s jaw tensed. Reluctantly, he rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. “Thank you,” Christine whispered as she began to prep the area. 

Bucky instinctively tensed as the needle got closer and Christine glanced up at him again to make sure he was okay. Amber eyes stared into his and he became distracted by the color. They were warm and golden, like the sun. He didn’t know an eye color like that existed. He was so distracted, he didn’t even notice the needle prick his skin. 

Christine worked quickly while Bucky was distracted, trying hard to fight the blush that threatened to creep up her cheeks. He was distracted by her. She was suddenly very self conscious. 

“There,” she said after a few moments, pressing gauze against where she removed the needle.

“You’re done?” Bucky was surprised, unaware that she had even started. But when she looked down, he discovered four vials full of dark red liquid. 

“All done,” she promised him, taping the gauze in place.

“Get enough?” Bucky asked her as she put away the vials of blood.

“I think so,” she nodded. “It’ll take some time for me to examine the blood and figure out what they were doing.”

“I appreciate it,” Bucky told her. 

“And Bucky, if you need to talk about anything at all… I know it’s probably hard to open up to some of the guys about it,” Christine offered to him and he smiled softly.

“Thank you, Chris,” he nodded.

“Are you guys all set?” Steve walked back into the lab after what he considered ample time and his two friends jumped away from each other, startled as Steve entered.

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to keep Bucky posted on if I find anything,” Christine nodded, trying hard not to blush. 

“You coming out tomorrow night, Chris?” Steve asked her. 

“Not quite sure, yet,” Christine said softly. “Definitely been a long day today and I don’t think tomorrow is going to be any different,” she shrugged, making excuses. Christine was anxious to go out with the other soldiers. It was one thing to encounter the men on base, it would be completely different when they were drunk in a bar. 

“Well, hopefully it’s not too busy so you can join us,” Steve smiled at her. “I have to go clean up and prepare to meet with Colonel Phillips. Buck, you should probably hit the shower,” Steve teased before leaving Christine’s lab.

“I was trying to shower!” Bucky called after Steve as he disappeared out of the door. “Punk,” Christine heard him mumble. Chuckling, Bucky unrolled his sleeve and hopped off of Christine’s table. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t mean to cause you more work.” 

“It was getting pretty boring around here anyway,” she smirked and then debated on telling him the truth. “I… my workload is kind of light right now anyways.” She didn’t know why she felt so inclined to be honest with him. 

“But you just told Steve…?” Bucky looked at her confused. Christine played with her hands nervously, looking away from Bucky before looking back up at him.

“I, uh, lied,” she chuckled nervously. “Truth is… the men on the base here tend to get kind of handsy when they’re sober…”

“So the idea of willingly going to a bar with a bunch of drunk soldiers is a bit terrifying,” Bucky finished for her.

“Yeah,” Christine breathed out. “I mean, I had one guy sprain my wrist when I was refusing to go back to his room with him and we were both sober on base,” Christine shuddered at the memory.

“Jesus Christ, it got that much worse after I left?” Bucky asked him and Christine’s head tilted to one side, confusion clear on her face.

“Wait, what?” 

“You really don’t think I didn’t notice you when I was here on base, did you?” he smiled at her. There was a sense of confidence in his smile that made Christine’s stomach flutter.

“What?” she didn’t understand. Bucky chuckled, looking down for just a second. and then back up at her, smirking.

“A beautiful scientist who was also a great soldier on base amongst a bunch of khaki clad men, of course I would notice you.”

“And you never approached me?” she asked him, thinking back to what Steve said so long ago when he asked her if she ever met Bucky..

“I saw how many men approached and harassed you on a daily basis, the way that they treated you. I didn’t want to approach you to try and have a genuine conversation with you and have you think I was trying to do the same thing. So instead, I spent a lot of time kicking their asses,” Bucky chuckled. 

“Are you why there was a couple of months where the guys stopped bothering me?” Christine exclaimed and Bucky laughed even more. At one point during her time on the base, the men just suddenly stopped leaving her alone and she had no idea why. Christine smiled, glad to see that he was more relaxed now and laughing.

“Yeah, I would be why,” he nodded, still laughing. “I made sure all of those assholes knew that they’d have to deal with me if they kept bothering you.”

“Can I ask why? Why watch out for me? You didn’t even know me.” It was a genuine question. Christine wasn’t used to strangers being kind to her for no reason.

“Guess it was a habit,” he chuckled. “I spent all my time in Brooklyn beating up assholes harassing Steve. Felt like I was missin’ something.”

“That really why?” Christine arched her eyebrow and he blushed slightly. 

“And I was hoping after some time without them harassing you… maybe I’d be able to approach you. I just, I really didn’t want you thinkin’ I was like one of them… approaching ya for the wrong reasons,” he admitted sheepishly.

“I think I would have known you were different,” Christine blushed. 

“Maybe… but then I got my orders and was shipped out,” he sighed.

“Well, it looks like we’ll get the chance to know each other now,” she smiled at him and his smile brightened up. He seemed like he was far more relaxed now than when he first entered her lab. 

“I really better go shower,” he chuckled before hopping off her exam table. He began walking towards the door to her lab but turned back to her before leaving.

“Do you…” he started but stopped, his eyes dropping from hers.

“What is it?” Christine’s brows furrowed together, worried that there was something else wrong. 

“Do you think I’ll be okay?” his voice was quieter now. Her heart felt like it was breaking in two when she heard the pain in his voice. 

“Physically, yes,” she said softly. “But it might take awhile before you know how to cope with what happened to you. And that’s okay. It’s okay to hurt and struggle with what happened. And if you ever need anyone to talk to...” her voice drifted off.

“I appreciate it,” he nodded before walking slowly towards the door. “You really should try to come out tomorrow night. I promise, you don’t have anything to worry about anymore,” he flashed her a shy smile before disappearing through her door. 

A shaky breath escaped Christine the moment she was left alone. She caught herself shaking her head and smiling as she chewed on her bottom lip. 

“Hey,” a soft voice came from outside Christine’s tent. She looked up from her book, finding Steve standing there. 

“Hi,” she whispered. 

“May I?” he asked her and she nodded, moving her feet so he could sit on the end of her cot. It had been so long since the two of them had been alone together, she found herself feeling shy around him now. 

“How have you been?” Steve asked her, feeling shy himself. 

“It’s been… hard,” she was honest with him. “This isn’t a training camp… this is war. I lost my mentor, I was shot… I lost my best friend,” she looked at him, pain in her eyes. “And then I was placed here.”

“I thought the men at base were bad, but here? Here there are no rules, no one to keep these men in check… no one to stop them from grabbing what they want,” her voice cracked and the air escaped from Steve’s lungs and he realized why she didn’t want to go out with them all tomorrow. “In the mornings, I train with Chester and then I spend the rest of my days in the lab with Howard… I try not to go anywhere alone. If I finish early that day, I stay hidden inside my tent or lock myself in my lab with a book.” 

“Oh, Christine,” Steve breathed out. 

“And, I’m happy that you were able to rescue all of those soldiers… but now there are three times as many men,” she looked at him, scared. 

“They won’t touch you,” he promised her. “I will make sure of it.”

“I can handle myself,” she told him, her voice firm. God, she was stubborn. 

“There’s no doubt in my mind that you can,” he nodded. “But it doesn’t hurt to have a backup,” he told her and the room fell silent. Both of them had so much they wanted to say, so much they wanted to tell the other, so many apologies to make. 

“You really scared me,” Christine finally broke the silence, pulling her knees up to her chest. “Chester had just declared you dead before you showed up.” 

“What?” Steve asked her, not realizing that they would have jumped to that conclusion so soon.

“I thought you were dead,” her voice cracked and she wiped away a tear quickly, hoping he wouldn’t see. “I thought you died thinking I hated you.”

“I deserved to be hated for what I said, trying to talk you into giving up your career so that you were safe,” Steve shook his head, still mad at himself. “That wasn’t my call to make. I’m sorry if I made you feel as though you weren’t strong enough for this. You might just be the strongest one here.”

“If you really thought that, you would have told me what you were doing. I would have gone with you,” she told him and he couldn’t help but smile at her. “You shouldn’t have went in alone, you should have had backup and the fact that Peggy and Howard not only took you to the base but also let you go alone!?

“Chris,” he stopped her as her voice began to get louder. “I knew you would insist on going with me, which is why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know what I was about to go into and I wasn’t going to put you in danger,” he told her. “And I needed to find Bucky.”

“See, you’re doing it again,” she yelled at him. “You keep trying to protect me from doing my job. You keep trying to make decisions for me. I am a soldier. We trained together, remember?”

“I do remember. I remember that I wouldn’t have been able to make it through training without you. I also wouldn’t look like this without you. Yes, you are a soldier, Chris, and a damn good one at that. But you’re an irreplaceable scientist first.” Steve explained. “The world needs you.”

I’m starting to think otherwise, she thought to herself. What HYDRA did to Bucky, in the name of her project, weighed heavily on her mind. 

“And the world needs more heroes like you,” she told him. “So why is it any different for you to put your life on the line and not me?”

“Because I’m a soldier first, that’s my job. I’m not a hero.”

“All of those men would say otherwise.” They were silent for a moment. “Especially Bucky.”

“I don’t know,” Steve shook his head, disagreeing with her. He wasn’t a hero, he was just a soldier doing his job. “I’m sorry for always trying to protect you… I just care about you, Christine.”

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you that I could have prevented,” he told her. 

“But that’s still not your decision,” she reminded him. 

“It is when it comes to my team,” he said. “I want you on my team, Chris, I need you on my team. And I need you to fulfill the role of scientist. There’s no one else I trust to help create the weapons, tech, and inventions we are using out there.”

“I think you might be the greatest thing I could create,” she gave him a small smile and he returned it with a much larger one, pulling her into a big hug. 

“I’ve missed you, Christine,” he squeezed her tight.

“And I’ve missed you,” she hugged him back. Steve pulled away, tucking a loose strand of Christine’s hair behind her ear before standing up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered before stepping out of her tent. As soon as he was outside her tent, he let out a sigh of relief he had been holding in for months. Steve had convinced himself that Christine hated him, that she wanted nothing to do with him. But when she ran into his arms today, he realized that he was wrong. 

Christine stretched, hands reaching for her toes as she tried to wake up. The sun wasn’t out yet, the crisp wind was biting into her skin. She needed to get moving so that she could warm up.

“I didn’t know you would be joining us this morning,” Chester said and Christine stood up from her stretch confused. 

“Steve,” Christine smiled, surprised to see him. 

“Morning,” he smiled back at her.

“Better stretch, Captain,” she smirked before raising her arms above her head, stretching her shoulders. Steve chuckled as he joined Christine, stretching next to her. 

After a few moments of stretching, Chester told them to run laps. The roles were reversed from their days back at basic. Steve could outrun Christine and pass her numerous times in the time it took her to run one lap. But instead, he jogged by her side. 

“You can run ahead,” she told him.

“I’m not going to leave a soldier behind,” Steve smiled at her, repeating the line she had said to him dozens of times before. Christine shook her head, smiling and laughing. It felt so good to have her best friend back by her side. 

Christine was thoroughly soaked by the time her and Steve finished their workout. She didn’t realize until she was almost done with her training that she had been trying to keep up with Steve the entire time. 

“Steve, you’re going to have to join us more often. I haven’t seen Christine push herself like that in awhile,” Chester teased Christine.

“Hey now,” Christine pretended to glare at him, causing Chester to chuckle.

“I’ve got some work to do, you two cool down,” Chester smiled before leaving the two of them alone. 

“Any update on whether you’re coming tonight?” Steve asked her as they stretched. 

“I don’t know,” she sighed, lying to the super soldier. 

“Well, I hope you do come out,” Steve smiled at her. 

Steve kept his word about making sure Christine was safe on base. He threatened the other soldiers that if they ever laid a hand on Christine, he’d have them dishonorably discharged and break both of their hands on the way out. He even asked a few of his most trusted men to watch over her, to follow her from afar. 

Throughout the rest of the day, she noticed one of the Howlie’s, Dum Dum, following her around. He stayed just far away from her that she shouldn’t have noticed, but she was a trained soldier. She was well aware when someone was following her. 

Instead of saying anything, Christine just shook her head and kept minding her business. If it made Steve more comfortable and they weren’t bothering her, she didn’t mind.


End file.
